Friday, December 18, 2009

This is what I do...

....When I should be packing.


SOoooOoOoOoO00oo0000000oooOOooo00o

LMAO LMAO LMAO,

Sorry I just had an irresistible urge to type that like I would've about 7 years ago. Whoa...7 years ago...

-I was 12.
-I had just discovered ways to regurgitate all the things around me I didn't understand, or understood exceptionally well.
-I could'nt even fathom myself at 19...

I recently celebrated a birthday [November 30th for future reference ahem]
Everything has been so surreal lately, I barely noticed...

Next year I wont be a teenager. Sigh. Anyhoooow, the ladies have inspired me once again. I'm putting some love into this little blog of mine =]

In due time...in the meantime...I have to pack back to Um Ricka:







Cheeeessss!!

More about the many many feelings I have for that song later.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

So soooo behind, Life has been hectic. So Im just going to continue posting there will be 30 poems on this blog eventually.

Day ?

I was your instrumental once

horns round philadelphia suns

808s pulsating in pavement

I prompted those adlibs

I taught you how to ride a beat

sampled my dimple

looped it around your index

and pressed play

I hid inspiration

in the dead of autumns crunch

beneath black soles

for you to find

before you removed your tims

for me to rub

snare drum thumbs

into the arch of your foot


My grandmother

will never understand

the music we love in

she will however, recognize

the rhythm in our steps

the bass in my gaze

steady

trying to synthesize with

my acoustic guitar of a heart

with my eyelids like strings

plucked open with each

strum of your fingers

on the small of my back


Each silence a raindrop

gaining momentum

and multiplying into

a symphony splashing,

reverberating

on my tender tenor eardrums

your baritone roams the aqueduct

behind my eyes


and when I cry

it is not for loss


I am only flesh

just limbs

and extremities clamoring

scratched throat

swollen eyes

standing

pleading

for you to see me


I am only this flesh

The music in my walk

will never play through speakers

The melody in my voice

can not be re-mastered


I am only these bones

not drumsticks to beat

the heart into your lyrics

I am only this flesh

A back alley masterpiece

a street scene

wind caught

in a young woman's strands

a man cleaning

the dirt from his

childs hands

Open mouthed laughter

and the decaying molars

in the back

The first flower

to open on the first

day of spring


I am all of these

and the colors in between


I am not an EP

not a mixtape


I am just flesh

All of the things you

wont see with your ears open

and your eyes down

head bobbing


I just wish

you were

a visual learner






Haiku:

I can not love a

man who looks like me because

well, I mean...because






Day ??


I am leaving

it is in my way

I am my fathers daughter


I am leaving

it is in my way

My mothers firstborn

ushered me with phantom hands

they still linger

on my back


I feel the pressure there sometimes


I am leaving

it is in my way

my steps are always urgent

my feet lead me

as if I always have somewhere to be


I can only stand still

in constant motion





Again what Day is it??


I am letting you go

although I never had you

I seem unable to comprehend

these days

limited concepts of human interaction


I get ahead of myself

like too hard

too fast

because ive known

the hollow of

missing emotion

Im just trying to fill

my heart with as much

as I can find

as quickly as possible


That is an ugly place

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Day 5:


Born 

the philosopher 

of the heavens 

I fall in love daily 

smile too much 

and laugh too loudly 

I am still uncomfortable 

in my body 


Born 

the philosopher 

of the heavens 

I fall in love daily

its always one sided 

smile too much 

with my big big nose

and laugh too loudly

with my big big mouth 

I am still uncomfortable 

in my body 


Day 6:


I.

Remember the day 

your father took your hand 

and said,

in a language 

with no place on his tongue

'look at the night sky 

endless and full'

You're eyes 

as wide as galaxies

shed vanity and tears 

engulfed in guilt 

for sharing the same 

universe as that sky 


II.

You have one dimple 

and a sharp tongue 

currently stained 

by blackberry 

with a cheeky smile 

you steal kisses 

from boys who 

are'nt sure why

 they like you 



III.

Head a mass 

of kinks

inside of it 

all of your screws 

are not tight;

Your aunt burns 

your forehead 

trynna straighten 

the wrong type of kink


 

IIII.

Everyday I miss conception

by seconds

I am one backspace away 

from existence on most 

screenwriters keyboards

It has been like this 

since I was born 

It will not be this way 

when I die




Saturday, August 15, 2009

Noone writes petitions 

for the women of this land 

but their hearts,

are not as strong 

and calloused 

as their

hands





Monday, August 10, 2009

Drawing blanks 

I have been sketching 

emptiness and its perfect 


....Bare with me?? I'm trying, I promise.



Friday, July 31, 2009

Day...not sure, I am two poems deep and two poems behind. I am however playing catch up tomorrow. Bare with me??


'I dont know why nobody told you
how to unfold your love'


The walls still screamed
of days, weeks, months past
terror in its purest form
a child's wail

crimson carpet careening
from a home turned on its side
every day a blessing
in its progression

this house
with barbed wire legs
was trying to run away
from itself

So mama planted a garden
replaced the premature deaths
with petals and foliage
as our blocks body count increased
so did the size of her bushes

The youngest person
on our street
was 30 the
year she planted
sunflowers

They're towering stems
not sturdy enough to hold
the legacy they represented
they swayed at twilight
and sometimes, as if
to replace the eerie quiet
you could hear their leaves rustle

Our block was never this silent.

Hyacinths,
the month Andre was
lost and found
on the Potomac river shore
eyes wide and bulging
his forget me not smile
still faintly visible

She planted those shortly after

For Isaac
and his stride
too full with pride
and self assurance
He bought me blow pops
When we ran into each other
And always made sure
I made it home safe
I wondered who
did that for
him

Malik was a giant

'Giants fall hard'
Floating through fields
of cornrows and haze
Whispers from Fatima;
My auntie could only
love him in the dark
he was a cluster of Impatiens
in the most shaded
part of front yard

The day
bike tires
scattered stems
soil and roots
mamas memorial garden
became nothing more
than a pretty piece
of landscape
to passersby

Who appreciated
the silence of their
newly discovered
jewel of a neighborhood
and its welcoming
umbrage

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Underground Levitators.

Fresh uh rawness
cure that with
cure that with
passion
hunger
sweat
truth

Underground levitators
ressurect in alleys
at 1a.m

stage love
fly unknown
pure intentions
down turned palms
impossibly loud meditations

Door knockers
Diamondstuds
Basements
9:30 club

9:30 club
Basements
Beat rockers
Door knockers

White tee's
Leather Jacket
Wind breakers
Kufi's

Rolex to G shock
Let the beat knock

Page boy hats
Kente
Fitted caps
Houndstooth

Heels
Nikes

belonging to:

Bus riders
benz drivers

equipped with:

Stank face
Mean Mug
Batted eyelash
goosebumps
sweaty armpits
phat ass

Pedicured toes
lower backs
biceps
breasts

walls

drenched

in

sweat

Turntables mix all this with

Crusted deodorant
spit
Caked dirt

Pedicured toes
Lust
Saliva
Must
Mold

Turntables
remix liquor
remix liquor and blood
stench of
overflowed toilets waft
through the bathroom door
settling onto the track we call
sticky floor

Spit that shit

Feathers
Chains
Adrenaline
filled veins

Chill cutting through Humidity
sliced my spine in half
not dancing
I'm teetering
trying to center myself

Not shaking my ass
attempting to collide
each side of me
back in place

If I wind my waist
hard enough
maybe i'll rewind this place
back to where it came from
back to where we came from
go back to where you came from

back to
back to
back to to to
to the mmm to the ah the
mmm mmm tuh ah

back to where we came from
go back to where you came from

The shows over.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Stuck

So, speaking to my mother the other day...I touched on the fact that I've never really had vivid or believable dreams or daydreams or what have you that include me being married. Ive imagined it etc. but I have a VERY clear view of things,events, sometimes even people in my future, sometimes they happen sometimes they dont, but that...matramony and shit...nuh uh. I just dont see it, and now im thinking its because its not part of my future. Especially with all these newfound views on dreams etc.

La lalalalaaaa

I swear im going to invest more time in you blog, and make you everything I imagine you'll be one day...I believe in you =]

My little blog that could.